So I went to my weigh in this week and I promise to report those results after THIS week, when I lose all that I gained. I’ve grown to a place where I have to be sick or out of town to miss my weigh in, but I’m still not at a place where a gain doesn’t bother me. As I reflected on my week and the many slips I had, I started thinking about how my response to slip ups has changed.

My parents are about to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. I carried the ribbon from the celebration of my grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary for my wedding. So what the heck does this have to do with OUR commitment to being on program?

Since I’m almost 39, I have had the privilege of being an “observer” of a large number of those years of marriage. Last night I was thinking about how my parents have changed and how my grandparents (when they were living) changed as well in their relationships.

So that brings me to the “stages” of “marriage” when following the Jenny Craig Program…i.e. JATTNE (Jenny All The Time No Excuses).

Stage 1: The bliss of the Honeymoon
We feel so excited and motivated about our program because we have made the decision that the way we were living just isn’t acceptable, and now we have found the program to “save” us from our bad habits. I mean how hard can it be? Heat and eat, right? We love absolutely EVERYTHING about the program because after all, we’re reaching our goal weight THIS TIME. We are getting this weight off and it is SOOO very exciting.

Stage 2: I’ve lost that lovin’ feeling….it’s gone
We get bored. You mean to tell me I have to do this for more than a few weeks? You mean the reality is that I may not lose 2-5lbs every single week? You mean to tell me I slipped? My consultant just isn’t motivating me like he/she should. I’m just not sure I can do this. I’m going to miss my next weigh in so I can lose what I know I’ve gained and then go back. I just cannot see a gain on the scale.

Stage 3: Renew resolve and commitment
So after a few weeks, months, or years for some of us years of stage 2 we return to the program because after time in Stage 2 the “ick” feeling of deviating too much returns BUT this time we have a more realistic approach. We now KNOW this journey has ups and downs. We dig in deeper and try to find a new way to show up for our program. We are getting closer to having a realistic perspective of this journey. We allow for mistakes even though making them still makes us cringe. We realize we have to face the weekly weigh in no matter what. Feelings come after commitment and we realize this isn’t about feeling “pumped up and motivated” to do this every day. We begin to slowly incorporate the food-body-mind components and actually read our manuals, listen to touchstones, and do the ENTIRE program.

Stage 4: Lifestyle
The stage we all long for. At this point we realize the only thing that’s perfect on our program is our human imperfection. It’s not hard to look at mistakes because we realize they oftentimes provide our deepest lessons about ourselves and the opportunity to create new strategies for the future. We now know there will be a next time and we don’t crumble when hard times hit. We have accepted the ebb and flow of life and learn to adjust ourselves to knowing that everything passes in time. We stay in a healthy weight range by incorporating all that we have learned in stages 1-3.

So…..for me I find myself anywhere between stages 2-4 these days, BUT I am beginning to “settle” a little emotionally over my mistakes. Similar to my parents when they are annoyed with each other, sometimes now they make a joke about it and move on. Mistakes don’t require an accompanying emotional breakdown.

So for me this week my challenge is to just “settle” into my “relationship” with my program. Divorce isn’t an option, so I’m willing to be patient as I go through the stages. I’m willing to accept imperfection but not excuses (missing my weigh in, making up my own version of JC) to destroy my “relationship” ….how about all of you? Does it have to feel good all the time to continue? Maybe that’s why the divorce rate and the dropout rate for weight loss programs is about the same, or even worse!

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